I write this with great sadness over the unimaginable loss of a close friend to cancer. She was 41.
She fought a brave and strong battle for two years but the cancer would not allow her to get better. She took each day in stride, never really complaining, always feeling tired and always hoping that the treatments would finally end so she could get on with her life. This was my hope too.
This beautiful woman, inside and out, was a wonderful friend to me, supporting me for over 20 years with her gentle and caring nature. One of her beliefs in life was the importance of being authentic with people, saying what needs to be said because it’s good for the relationship and for the soul. Unfinished business causes pain and having peace is essential for a healthy and joyful life. Also, I always admired how she never judged or forced her opinions on anyone, but offered valuable and truthful advice that I will surely miss.
I hope she forgives me for the many times I brushed her off when she talked about the possibility of dying. I just wanted to keep her spirits up so I always told her that she would be okay and not to worry. Perhaps she wanted to have that tough conversation, but I never let her go down that path, and I know she didn’t want to upset me either. That’s just the way she was. She always kept her sense of humor and even when she was in the hospital, I said to her that I wish I could take away her pain. Her response was, “I would give it to you in a second. You can have it.”
I remember once she and I were talking about something I was struggling with and, she said, “Look at me”, meaning that you never know in life so make change even though it’s tough and do the things you want to do and dream about before it’s too late. Those three words came across so clear.
My friend was loving and real. She was a wonderful mother to her three children and laid a strong foundation for them. The many people who love her children will watch over them, as she is, and make sure that they have a great life, full of her values and wishes. We will show them pictures and video of happy times, talk about all the special traditions she used to do with them like make gingerbread houses at Christmas time and color Easter eggs. She loved to go to Disney World and Hershey Park, PA. She also loved the beach, where she could relax and contemplate life. Lastly, her magnetic smile will be missed by all who knew her.
Her beautiful spirit will live on through her children, and they will always know how much she loved them. She tried with all her heart to stay for them, but God called her, and she had to go.
During my friend’s illness, I know that there were two things that kept her going, her children and hope, otherwise to face another day would have been tough, and I know how many days she must have had like that.
Now my hope is that she rest in peace knowing she did all that she could and that her children will be fine. When we love people it’s so comforting to know that they will always be with us in our hearts.
I’ll see you again, my friend,
Stacey
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A Poem:
Remember Me
Fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow,
But remember me in every tomorrow.
Remember the joy, the laughter, the smiles,
I’ve only gone to rest a little while.
Although my leaving causes pain and grief,
my going has eased my hurt,
and given me relief.
So dry your eyes and remember me,
not as I am now,
but as I used to be.
Because, I will remember you all,
and look on with a smile.
Understand in your hearts,
I’ve only gone to rest a little while.
As long as I have the love of each of you,
I can live my life in the hearts of all of you.
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Photo: My friend’s favorite flower was daisies. I read that daisies mean beauty and innocence and one of their messages is, “You have as many virtues as this plant has petals.” Now I know she is saying hello, and letting me know she is fine.
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